I am experiencing writer’s block lately. I guess that is not a good thing if you are a blog writer. I am the creative type and have my hand in many different creative endeavors. There is so much I am interested and like to do and it has been hard for me to pinpoint a way to go. Writing is a way of expressing myself. It is part of the conscious and subconscious. Writing is my “true self” if that makes any sense. Writing is pretty one-sided until it is received. I suppose that is true with any art form whether it be photography, painting, film, authoring a book, etc.
Part of why I have taken a hiatus is that I have moved from the rainy environs of the Pacific Northwest to “The Great Lakes State” of Michigan. I grew up in Michigan, moved to Germany, then moved to Washington and raised a family there for 30 years; I returned home to Michigan, partly due to my husband’s prompting and also to connect with family, not really remembering just how cold the winters really are.
Through the years we visited family in Michigan and I relished the change of seasons during our short visits. I also had to get my fix of seeing my favorite birds, the sandhill cranes and red-winged blackbirds. Now I live amongst them along with a new bird-viewing experience, mute swans. The swans are not very mute as they chortle somewhat making snorting and whimpering sounds. I guess they are much quieter than their swan counterparts, thus the name.
Would You Like a Little Cheese with that Whine?
I commiserate to my husband and kids about how I miss the Pacific Northwest, my way of life there being close to creature comforts as we lived in a suburb surrounded by conveniently located stores and restaurants. I miss the crush of the sweet pine scent hiking through the forest and the breathlessness of hiking a mountainous elevation gain. I miss the babbling brooks and the mighty Columbia river. I miss an hours drive to a mountain for skiing. I miss working for the schools there, using my computer skills and the contacts I made.
I have gained things being back, though. I have been able to care for my still independent 90-year-old mother. She needs more help and I am glad that I have been available to her. She is a short drive away and I still call her practically every day. We have been able to attend family gatherings but have missed out on many baptisms, confirmations, weddings, funerals and such having been away so long.
I have reacquainted myself with my siblings and their adult children, some of who have children of their own. It’s fun to see and interact with them and reminds me of the cycle of life.
Thinking About My Church Family
My church life was a very big part of my life in Washington. I miss certain parts of the Mass that are different at the church I attend now. The music to the Responses are different and they use a different song book. They only say the Apostle’s Creed and I miss saying the Nicene Creed. We alternated these prayers at my previous church dependent upon the church season. The church is conveniently located five minutes away so I don’t have any interest in “church shopping.”
I miss my church family. I practically used to live at my previous church where I was employed, served as a lector and eucharistic minister and headed up the liturgy committee, taught faith formation, facilitated the safe environment program and hung out with my ”besties” during potlucks, Catholic Daughter meetings and donuts or tacos after Mass.
SEO is King
A big part of my writer’s block comes from not letting my writing flow freely like it does in journal writing. I pay attention to SEO and composition so that at least I might have a better chance of my writing being read. It cramps my style but also has allowed me to improve by revising and catching errors that I might have missed.
I have experienced writer’s block before as well as taking breaks from other artful endeavors like painting, poetry writing and graphic arts design. I think it is a combination of procrastination, laziness, and possibly seasonal mood disorder. It is pretty cloudy here in the winter.
I tend not to do well in the cold and the house we are living in heats unevenly and my computer is in a room that is colder than the rest of the house. I need to get one of those happy lights.
Marking Our Place in Time
With this recent move, a thought that has crossed my mind is how do we know where our place in the world is—leaving one life behind for another. In addition, I have done quite a bit of traveling and the places my husband and I visited were amazing plus having lived in Germany for a time was also amazing. Looking at the course of life, those places visited seem like a dream. Yes, I experienced them but they only exist in my memory (and photographs). (That line kind of reminds me of the scene at the end of the Titanic movie where the old women recants here story about surviving the sinking of the Titanic and loss of her one true love.)
Even our previous day-to-day lives seem like a dream and certain memories get called up to the forefront of our minds. I guess all that matters is the present moment, how we experience it and what we plan to do in the future. Looking back has it’s place as well. We are the sum total of our lived experiences.
The challenge for me this year is to be open to new experiences as well as reflect on the previous ones and hopefully write up a storm about them.